Sometimes you have to blow off a little steam and let someone know just how you feel about them, but without all the harsh words. With these 18 ‘clean’ burns, you won’t have to rev up your foul mouth in order to take someone down. A clean insult is just as good as a dirty one!
1. “This is why people talk about you behind your back.”
2. “I’m jealous of the people who don’t know you.”
3. “I’m from the south, so the most insulting thing I can say is, ‘Bless your heart’ (which loosely translates to ‘a pox upon you and your house, you ignorant swine’).”
4. “I’m not that desperate, and you’re not that lucky.”
5. “You’re like the first slice of bread, everyone touches you but no one wants.”
6. “There are empty Petri dishes more cultured than you.”
7. “May you always have slightly damp socks.”
8. “You are a perfect example of why there are safety warnings on everything.”
9. “Crawl back inside your mother and don’t come back out again until you’ve matured into a proper human being.”
10. “If I could buy you for what I think you’re worth and sell you for what you think you’re worth, I’d be rich.”
11. “If brains were dynamite, you wouldn’t have enough to pop a pimple.”
12. “The only important things that you’ve done in your life were your exes.”
13. “If people were spices, you’d be flour.”
14. “I’m busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?”
15. “You really shouldn’t use your entire vocabulary in one sentence.”
16. “If I wanted to die I would jump off your ego onto your I.Q.”
17. “My teeth are brighter than your future.”
18. “Has anyone ever told you how painfully mediocre you are?”
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