Dad Shares Hilariously Epic Instructions He Gave His Son’s Babysitter As A First Time Parent

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How crazy we are as parents with our first child! After that…we tend to chill out a bit don’t we?

Bryan Elliott is a software engineer and father from the Philadelphia area. When Elliott’s son Jack was an infant, his first babysitter requested instructions with any information she might need to know about caring for the baby.

The dad responded with an epically detailed email, which he later posted on Reddit. The instructions range from how to use a pacifier (“Shove it in his mouth. Nothing to it.”) to dirty diaper identification tactics (“Poop will have a distinct smell; carefully open the back and look for signs.”) to what to do if the baby poops through his diaper (“If it’s trivial, carefully remove his outfit. If it’s a goddamned war zone, carefully cut his outfit off, using blunt-nose scissors.”).

Read the full post below:

 

My wife forwarded me an old email I’d sent to my son’s first babysitter. from Parenting

Today, Jack is nearly 4 years old and well past those infant stages, but when Elliot saw the old email, he thought it might be helpful — “tongue-in-cheek as it was” — to first-time parents. So, he posted it in the Parenting subreddit, where it quickly went viral.

Sometimes the parenting guide books don’t truly tell it like it is and can leave you hanging! Thankfully, the world has Bryan Elliot!

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