You have to be an impressive athlete to join the list of the most decorated Summer Olympians of all time. It’s safe to say that U.S. swimmer Ryan Lochte is as impressive as they come….just don’t let him speak or interact with any human.
Lochte isn’t the brightest bulb in the box and in recent weeks/days he has buried himself into a hole so deep that it is highly unlikely he will ever climb out. His dumbest is almost as entertaining as watching him swim.
In lieu of a recent horrific TV interview (Seen Here), here are 7 ridiculous things Ryan Lochte has shared with the world via his Twitter account.
1. Music metaphors are the best!
Everyone wants to be a Rockstar but no one wants to learn the chords!
— Ryan Lochte (@RyanLochte) May 25, 2015
Ryan Lochte gets it. He really does. Everyone wants to be a superstar, but not everyone is willing to put in the necessary time and effort. That is what he’s saying, right? We hope so — we don’t know how to play guitar. It always seemed like too much work.
2. So true…
Some times all u can say is jea jea jeah!!!!!!
— Ryan Lochte (@RyanLochte) September 27, 2014
If you’re not familiar with the “word” Lochte managed to make famous, then you probably won’t get this. If you are, then there’s no way you could possibly disagree. In the end, “jeah” is all you need. That’s what the Beatles meant to say.
3. Never stop plugging
— Ryan Lochte (@RyanLochte) August 4, 2016
When you’re paid a boatload of money from a sponsor to endorse the brand, plugging products comes with the territory. It’s one of the many reasons why athletes make so much bank. But even for a guy like Ryan Lochte, this one is a bit ridiculous. We can’t think of one instance where it feels natural to say, “silky smooth.” Unless, of course, you’re referring to Gentle Hair Removal — totally “safe, effective, comfortable.”
4. Never change… unless it’s your hair color
— Ryan Lochte (@RyanLochte) July 31, 2016
Lochte may think his new hair color is “light blue,” but we’re not buying it. And we’re not the only ones who beg to differ with the Olympic swimmer. Listen, we don’t have a problem with changing one’s appearance, and we certainly don’t mind when someone wants to go with a “bold” new look. Just so long as they own it. Ryan, your hair color is white, bro. “Jeah,” it’s true.
5. Everyone loves a long T-shirt, right?
— Ryan Lochte (@RyanLochte) April 20, 2016
For the record, we don’t. It doesn’t matter if you’re Kanye, Bieber, or Lochte, long T-shirts just look ridiculous. You’re better than that. At least we hope you are.
6. How dare you, sir?
Trying my first espresso ever….. Yuck! pic.twitter.com/ah3oOsScGk
— Ryan Lochte (@RyanLochte) November 4, 2014
It takes a lot for us to be truly insulted. This is one of those times. Espresso is delicious, Lochte. You better take that face back right now! We’re serious. Not cool — not cool at all.
7. Is this real life?
— Ryan Lochte (@RyanLochte) February 11, 2016
Never before has life imitated art so perfectly. Lochte is Zoolander. Zoolander is Lochte. How did we not notice this sooner? This changes everything. It’s settled — Ryan Lochte is, in fact, a genius. He probably knows how to turn left as well.
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