Walmart…we love it…we hate it…but whatever side you may fall on, we are nearly positive that you enjoy a good Walmart story!
The Blind Woman Who Can Drive
I worked in grocery as a stocker. We had just finished a cereal display near the front of the store compiled of about 100 boxes. In comes an older lady, around 60s, driving one of the electric carts. She’s looking dead on at the display and promptly rams into the thing. Boxes go everywhere and she starts apologizing over and over and explains that she’s legally blind. A customer that was nearby and saw everything asked her how she drove here if she was blind.. She responded by quickly turning around and leaving the store.
The Crazy Lady Who Just Wanted A Phone
My mom was a manager at Walmart… She told me about this woman who was trying to steal a prepaid phone. When she got caught by security she used the knife she was attempting to open the plastic packaging with to cut the security dude after cutting herself…. She then went on to scream at him that she has AIDS and now he’s going to have it for trying to stop her.
The Field Service Worker Who Has Seen It All
I used to do field service for Walmarts in the Portland, Oregon area. The East Portland stores were especially fun (/s). The Wood Village, Eastport Plaza, and Happy Valley stores are relatively close together and we techs referred to them as “The Gauntlet”. The Eastport Plaza store was especially “active”, and we nicknamed that one “Thunderdome”. Every visit, we would witness an arrest or something more exciting or disgusting. Last Christmas, for instance, while Frank Sinatra’s version of “Misletoe and Holly” was playing, a dude was totally face planted by some cops after resisting arrest, in the process damaging the automatic doors and knocking over a display. Another time, a tech witnessed the arrest of “the hottest looking hooker EVER on 82d street” being cuffed and stuffed in the parking lot. One day, I arrived at Thunderdome, and noticed that I could not get to the Customer Service desk to check in; several workers were not allowing people to pass, and there were also a number of orange cones marking the restricted area. A quick whiff indicated what my eyes later confirmed: shit all over the floor (the men’s room is right next to the Customer Service area). Eventually they had to break out the the “Zambonie” machine to finish cleaning up. I had about 10 registers to work on there that day (they beat the HELL out of their equipment in that store), and after two hours I was ready to take a leak and check out. They still weren’t letting anybody into the men’s room. God only knows what horrors there must have been.
The Naked Shopper
Found a woman passed out naked in sporting goods about 2:00 am while working nights. We had no idea how no one noticed her because we found articles of her clothing all over the store, including in the back storage area. Called police and ambulance. She was very very drugged and was unable to communicate at all.
The Big Wheel Bandits
I worked as a third-shift stock boy for Wal-Mart throughout college. One of the most interesting jobs I have ever had.
One of my favorite stories was one night about 3am a bunch of kids came in wearing bandannas and riding adult-sized big wheels about as fast as they could. They made it clear across the store to the soda and stole about 5 2-liters and a bunch of chips and snacks. The entire staff just watched this happen too. Seemed par for the course.
The Returned ‘Taped Up’ Mango
Ex employee of the produce department. Someone returned a mango to the store saying they “didnt need it anymore”. Was returned cut up into 3 different slices and stitched back up with scotch tape. I….what?
When Black Friday Makes You Sick To Your Stomach
During black friday last year a bunch of people were waiting in line for the ipads/tablets, some random kid ran by and projectile vomited over every box. Despite only cleaning them off with paper towels (all we could find during the mess of black friday), people still grabbed as many as they could…
One night a drunk chick dropped her pants and took a piss right outside our electronics department because the guy cleaning the bathroom wouldn’t let her in.
On a separate night a woman couldn’t hold it and pooped the whole way to the bathroom from the front door.
My mom works at a Walmart down here in Miami. She’s always telling me about the crazy shit she sees at work.
They’ve found a lot of goat heads sealed in buckets in the parking lot. They suspect it has something to do with Santeria.
She once had a mentally handicapped employee shit in the drain in the bathroom.
She had an employee pass out at work and never wake up. The guy just died on the spot.
The Rubber Boots No One Wanted
I was buying shoes at a Walmart and I heard someone yelling in the next aisle. I peek around the corner and theres a man holding a pair of rubber rain boots being yelled at by one of the employees. He suddenly drops the boots and threw his hands up in the air for some reason, and when the boots hit the floor a bunch of yellow liquid came spilling out of one of them. The guy had been taking a piss in the rubber boots.
I went to Pay Less and got me some shoes after that. I wasn’t about to try on anymore Walmart shoes.
The TV Heist
I used to work in the Garden Center of Wal-Mart. There was an apartment complex on the other side of our fence. I noticed a guy standing by the fence on the outside, in the apartment complex.
About ten minutes later, another comes running from in the store, TV in hands and chucks it over the 10 foot fence. His friend caught it and took off running into the complex.
They earned that TV.
It’s Dark In There
I’m an overnight manager at a supercenter in a bad part of town. One night we’re watching this guy stealing a flashlight from sporting goods on camera. We apprehend him but after much searching we can’t find what he did with the item. So after a while we have the guy sitting on a bench and he is kind of squirming around. Turns out he put the flashlight up his ass. Hazmat suits were needed.
The Icy Turd
Out of high school, I got a job at a local Wal-Mart as a 29 aka cart pusher. Anyways, it was almost closing time and I ended up helping a customer take out some merchandise. Right behind the customer service desk/exit doors was what appeared to be the top of a chocolate ice cream, swirl and all on the ground. I assumed it fell off someones ice cream cone from McDonalds. I holler that I’ll be right back to clean it up. I get back inside and noticed this ice cream has not melted one bit. Curiosity got the best of me so I decided to lean down and get a whiff of it just to confirm it was ice cream……it was not ice cream. Someone some how managed to drop a turd right in plain view with an ice cream swirl shape. That was 10 years ago and it still blows my mind to this day.
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