20+ Of The Funniest Two-Line Jokes Ever!

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Who doesn’t like a good joke? No one…that’s who! 

We scoured the Internet for the finest two-liners and came up with this list. Feel free to share with your friends, co-workers…or maybe just your kids friends! 🙂 


1.

Parallel lines have so much in common.

It’s a shame they will never meet. 


2. 

My wife accused me of being immature. 

I told her to get out of my fort.


3. 

Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. 

Then they call me ugly and poor. 


4. 

What do you call a dog with no legs?

It doesn’t matter, it will never come. 


5. 

What’s green, fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you?

A pool table. 


6.

How do you find Will Smith in the snow?

You look for the fresh prints. 


7. 

I went to a very emotional wedding last weekend. 

Even the wedding cake was in tiers. 


8. 

Our family has a serious issue with diarrhea. 

I guess you could say it runs in our jeans. 


9.

The the handicapped man who stole my purse. 

You can hide, but you can’t run. 


10.

Someone stole my mood ring. 

I’m not sure how I feel about that. 


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