It takes two people to form a successful relationship. The push, pull factor truly needs to be 50/50 in order for a relationship to reach its full potential and maintain a healthy and positive form.
Relationships take on a life of their own. Think about it? Two people meet, fall in love and start to grow as one, almost as if a new life has been created. You are no longer living 100% as yourself and neither is your partner. Now, I am not saying that you are losing touch with yourself and your true being at all. What I am saying is that once you enter a relationship, you are no longer making 100% of the decisions. You are now taking in the consideration of another person. If you are not, than you relationship is more than likely destined to fail.
Relationships are always the ‘best’ at the beginning, or so most people think. There is that ‘honeymoon’ phase where butterflies take over and your every thought and moment is dedicated to your new partner. We have all felt this, but that isn’t the best part of the relationship at all. The best part of a relationship is growing together as one. Going through this hard, crazy game of life as one and never looking back, only looking forward.
Together you create a life, a home and start families. You laugh, get angry and cry together. A successful relationship is filled with emotions, normal emotions that should be embraced, not hidden. Support is a huge part of a successful relationship. Keeping your shoulder available to cry on and your ears open to listen are major factors when growing together.
One very important thing to remember in a relationship is that your partner ‘is not you’. You may feel that your partner should be doing something differently or maybe they didn’t say the right thing, that thing you wanted them to say, but that should never be the case. Want to be successful in your relationship? Love your partner for who they are and look to the reason you fell in love with them in the first place, embrace that.
All relationships have ups and downs and most can be avoided and others just naturally occur. It is very normal to fight with your partner and if you don’t fight, something is probably out of whack. Fighting with your partner shows that you are both strong minded, thoughtful individuals. If you didn’t fight, that would mean that one person either never cares, or that one person is so over-powering that the other gives up. That is not the way to be. Healthy communication and a little heated conversation is what keeps the relationship alive. Just remember, at the end of the day, don’t ever stay mad at your partner and work to resolve what ever issues you had. The old saying goes ‘never go to bed mad’ and that could not be any truer, for you never know what the next moment in life will bring.
If you get frustrated in your relationship, just breathe. Take a moment and look at the whole picture. The prior statement is more so geared towards relationships that have some longevity behind them. Your relationship with your partner is an investment, an investment of your heart and soul. Never be quick to end a relationship with someone who you truly care about and have invested so much in to. The grass is greener mentality, will fail you in the end. When I speak of looking at the ‘whole picture’, look at all the little things you two have shared. The laughs, the good times and the life that you have build thus far…together.
Here are a few questions you should ask yourself if you are ever feeling like you are at a breaking point in your relationship. If you can answer ‘yes’ to these questions than you most definitely should take a breath and look at the whole picture.
- Would you be heartbroken if you woke up tomorrow without this person laying next to you?
- When a major event takes place in your life, is your partner the first person you want to share it with?
- If you could hop in a car and drive across the country tomorrow, would you want your partner with you?
- Are you able to sit in silence with your partner and just be together without feeling awkward?
- When you come home from a long day, would your home and heart feel empty if your partner wasn’t there?
- When you receive a text message or phone call, will you be disappointed when you find out it isn’t coming from your partner?
Remember, life is short, to short to just throw away hard work, effort and love. Relationships are not all peaches and creme, but they are damn good. Relationships get dormant, life takes over and they can lose steam. It is up to you and your partner to keep the momentum going in a positive direction. It takes work, love, passion and two people who are willing to be one.
So take a breath, smile, laugh and know that your relationship is 50% up to you and 50% up to your partner. You both have control and just like anything else in life, if you want, work for it you and you will get it:-)