A Response To The Colby College Graduate Who Wants To Remove Maine From The Map

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I recently came across an article written for GQ Magazine by a former Colby College graduate Drew Magary. The article was titled ‘Maine: Do We Need It?‘ My answer to that question is ‘YES…we do need it’…and here is why.

I’m sure many ‘Mainers’ will agree with me, that Maine is one of the only states in America that still has a certain innocence about it.

Hold on a second…before I respond…let me highlight the context of the article written by the wise Mr. Magary, first.

Magary lived in Maine for only four years while attending Colby College and he didn’t have anything really nice to say about the state that housed him while he received his prestigious degree of who knows what.

Now I don’t typically judge people, at least not prior to meeting them, but you can clearly get an idea of what the mentality is of Sir Drew Magary, just by his writings.

It would appear Magary is from a far away, magical land where it rains money and things are handed to you on a silver platter. Drugs don’t infiltrate this magical land and anything you need is just a short distance away. The sun appears to always shine and the warmth of the air embraces the true ridiculous of his every being. Oh…and racism doesn’t exist there either! What a place!

Maine is a terrifying wasteland with little to offer us in the way of economic or intellectual resources, and we should sell it to Denmark for a tidy profit. – Drew Magary

Mad yet?

Magary put together a pro and con list about Maine, which you can see below.

Funny, his college degree offered by a Maine college…didn’t make the ‘pro’ list. 

Now…my response to a man who thinks he knows it all.

Mr. Magary,

I am a 35-year-old man, father and entrepreneur…from Maine. In fact, my dwelling is just around the corner from where you spent those dreadful four years at Colby.

Maine is a place like no other…and that is probably why you had such a hard time adjusting. Some people are afraid of what they don’t know or understand….and that’s okay….just don’t be an a**hole about a place where over a million people call home.

You are not the first Colby College student that has put a sour taste in my mouth and you certainly won’t be the last. If anything, your words hurt the very institution that provided you with the education in which you no doubt used to land a gig at GQ.

I’ll touch upon a few of the highlights of your hate filled article now.

We have a Governor who is tad ridiculous at times…I’ll give you that. However, whether you like the guy or not…he is our Governor and we all have a certain level of respect for that. After reading your article, I could imagine you are one who has a hard time with truly understanding the aspect of respect.

You stated Maine is a ‘disturbing state’ and that it is ‘hardly America’. That is such a ludicrous and immature statement made by someone with little knowledge of the world and how it works. It might be time to pop the bubble in which you reside.

Maine is America…and it is more ‘American’ that most states in this great nation. Why? Because we are real. We live life…and we enjoy it. We work hard and just because we don’t feel the need to show our wealth by wearing a Movado watch and Gucci shoes, doesn’t make the state of Maine inferior to other states.

I am 35 and I have lived all over this country. From Yellowstone, Montana to Redondo Beach in Los Angeles. From the heart of the country in Richmond, Indiana to the great state of Maine. I grew up in Maine…and I came back to Maine. To work, to live and to raise a family. I did that for a reason…because it’s a wonderful place. It’s a safe place. My children can actually go outside and I don’t have to worry about them getting kidnapped, robbed or shot. There is something to be said about that. I wouldn’t expect you to understand.

The opportunity for landing a good paying job is minimal here…I understand that, as do most Maine residents. Again, that doesn’t make us inferior to other states. We work with what he have and we are always fighting to do better for our state and the job opportunities in which it offers.

Maine isn’t run by large corporations. Many of our Maine businesses were built by Maine people, employ Maine people and grow at the hands of Maine people. That is the American way.

Stating that our city of Portland is only for people who can’t afford to live in Boston, is again…a ridiculous statement. One could easily say that Boston is for all those who can’t afford to live in New York City. Your statement was simply ill-conceived.

It may be a shock to you, but people live in Portland…because they want to live in Portland, they enjoy Portland. You can actually walk the streets of Portland and not be approached to purchase knock of watches, or be harassed by disrespectful folk . You don’t have to worry about what color clothing you are wearing, because there is no gang activity. You can take your kids to the park and you don’t have to worry about the park being filled with criminals and disgust. You get the picture. For the record…I live in a small Maine town…and I can afford to live in Boston…I simply choose not too! 🙂 Choice is a beautiful thing.

There was talk in your article about you having to drive to school in an ice-storm while you were here. How our towns are vast and spread apart. To me, it sounds like you are tad whiny and need to man up!

I am willing to bet that I drove in that same ice-storm…and I can also bet I saw an 85-year-old lady doing the same! The people of Maine are not scared of anything. We have seen nasty weather and we know that after the storm passes, our beautiful state will shine bright again!

You were correct in saying that many of our towns are spread apart. Your exaggeration of the distance was a bit much, but I understood your point. We have a big state. We own a lot of land. A lot of American land! So be it! You may not have realized this…but this is the case in all of America…and all of the world for that matter.

If you live in Los Angeles and you want to drive to San Francisco…that’s a 10-hour drive. If you live in NYC and want to head upstate..that too is quite the drive. So as I understood your point..the point was weak and doesn’t apply to just the state of Maine. Therefore, the statement is again…ridiculous.

The following was probably one of my favorite comments in which you made in your article.

Earthy-crunchy types who live there because it’s so authentic. These are people who sit in Crazy Creek chairs and brush their teeth with pure baking soda. I do not trust them, and neither should you.

All I pictured after reading this was a young, judgmental, rich kid…who probably has baby soft hands. I pictured a young man sitting in a newly upholstered, leather wrapped restored Victorian chair. He was holding a cigar in his mouth, but never lighting it. He spoke in short sentences so that others could understand his verbiage, which is high functioning mind was putting together…for all to enjoy.

He gets up, walks around his high rise city apartment with his iPad in his hand. Probably Face Timing his mother, letting her know the rent is due.

Remember the bar scene in the movie ‘Good Will Hunting’. That scene where the Harvard grad pokes fun at a not so fortunate city boy…and then the poor city boys friend intellectually destroys the Harvard grad. Yea…it’s like that. 

I will wrap this up as you wrapped up your article…with my own pro and con list.

Pro

  • Hard working people with good work ethic.
  • Gorgeous landscape.
  • The lobster is the shit.
  • Everyone is neighborly to everyone.
  • Kids grow up safe.
  • Mountains above and ocean below.  
  • Good colleges. 
  • Honesty. 
  • Respect. 
  • Little crime in comparison to other states. 
  • Tough citizens (who are not scared of ice and snow.)
  • Our own language!
  • The ability to create your own business and thrive.
  • All American! 

Cons

  • Stuck up, ignorant Colby College kids. 

…and that concludes the rant.

~Cheers mate!

**Please note…this one yahoo doesn’t sum up all Colby College students or alumni. **

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