Richmond, Indiana : Gary Saunders has a very clear snoring problem. Saunders has tried countless remedies in order to calm those hellish sounds that most often keep his wife awake all hours of the night, night after night. “I just don’t know what the hell is going on” say’s Saunders of his snoring. “I mean, my wife records me while I am sleeping and if you didn’t know what you were listening to you…you would think she captured the depths of hell on her cellphone.”
Every morning Gary awakes alone in the bed that he and his wife share. Most mornings he has to scour the house in order to find where his wife decided to lay her head that night to escape the horrific sounds that Gary produces. “I wake up, alone every god damn morning…then it takes me nearly 10 minutes just to find out where the hell my wife is. Most times I find her under a pile of blankets in our sons bed, her head is covered with pillows and she looks like hell.”
It isn’t just Gary’s wife that can’t stand the snoring either. Gary’s 8 year old son finds it “annoying” and “is worried about his dad”. “We watched a movie at school about Water Buffalo’s, one was injured and making a very weird noise…it sounded just like my dad when he is sleeping.’
Saunders reports that he has exhausted every natural remedy he found on Google and that he has permanent redness on his nose due to excessive Breath Rite usage. “I guess I’m doomed” Saunders stated. “Nothing seems to work, my wife has just about had it and my son thinks I’m a freak of nature. I have started drinking heavier and have become depressed…Jesus…who would have thunk snoring would lead to this shit, makes me sick.”
Since this interview Saunders wife and son have moved in to the blocked up camper out front of their home. There is no word as to when Saunders will reunite with his family under one roof. The neighbor across the street did inform us that she has witnessed a mildly attractive male other than Gary sneaking out of the camper most mornings when she is getting the newspaper. “We normally just wave and give a little wink to one another, I never did like that Gary character all that much.”
Mrs. Saunders & Son’s Home Away From Home
Source : CJ@AJ
