Valentine’s Day is just two days away…for some…they already have an awesome day/evening planned. For others, they have zero plans…and for a certain handful of yahoo’s out there…they have something ridiculous planned. This post is for all those yahoo’s who have something ridiculous planned.

If you have anything planned like what you see below…even remotely close…abort…abort…abort. Start over and re-think what you have done or are going to do.

Everyone’s V-Day has two outcomes. One, a horrible nightmare comes to life right in front of you. Two, you make sweet love and end the day with a gleaming face and sweaty body! I choose number two.

1. The Massive Stuffed Animal

This will ultimately end up in the trash…sooner than later.

2. This Ad

Under NO circumstances should you ever give pre-planned funeral arrangements as a Valentine’s Day gift!

3. The Fast Food Dinner Date

Ending dinner with a McFlurry is sure to have you sleeping on the couch!

4. The Hardcore Romantic Card

Telling your partner you want to ‘smash’ them isn’t the most romantic way to say you want to make sweet love.

5. Booze

This actually isn’t that bad of an idea…as long as you pick up a good bottle of booze. Don’t bring home boxed wine or a bottle of Irish Rose!

6. The Movie Switch

Very few people in this world can pull this off. It is not recommended.

7. Involving Your Pet

Keep the pets out of it!

8. Too Close For Comfort

No man…or woman…wants this! EVER!

9. The In-Your-Face Surprise

This is one that is done by 99.99999% men…and often times ends in disappointment for their lady. You can’t set the bar too high!

10. The Pet

NEVER…get a pet for Valentine’s Day. You will either get a pet that sucks…or one that your partner loves more than you. It’s just not a good V-Day gift!