Dating can be an incredibly difficult task. We have all dated someone (or a few people) that we have no difficulty kicking to the curb and moving on from. It can be hard to find someone that feels just right and all that harder to let someone go after you have fallen for them — and you realize that it doesn’t seem to be working. Letting them go, can be nearly impossible.
If you loved this person and fell for them, why isn’t working? So many similar questions run through your mind. Just remember, it is always best to make any major life decision, with a clear head. So it’s always best to take a breather and calculate the risks — there are always risks.
Letting go of someone you love comes with 3 major risks.
1. Although they don’t seem to appreciate you now, that doesn’t mean that they won’t ever will.
It’s always possible that someday you will realize what exactly it was that you threw away. It won’t necessarily be how fun, or funny the person was. How smart or kind they were. It will be simpler than that, deeper than that.
What you may eventually realize is — the importance of having someone special in your life. If you are younger, you may not realize that for a while. But as you grow older, the importance of having someone in your life daily, is super important and it feels amazing!
The next thing you realize is how difficult it is to find an individual willing to have your back the way you need someone to have your back. Once you realize that you had this and threw it away, it can be eye opening – and sad.
Of course, this could go the other way and make it clear that what you had wasn’t what you needed. They call it a risk for a reason.
2. The person they are today, doesn’t necessarily define the person that they will be someday.
It’s a good rule of thumb to remember this. We all change over time and it is impossible to be who we are today, without ever being who we were. That goes the same for the ‘future’ someone. They can’t develop and become who they are down the road — without being who they are today. It’s called growing…and we all do it. Not all people change, but those who change noticeably over time, change significantly.
We all know and understand that is impossible for us to foresee the type of person our lover will become, we can nevertheless calculate the possibilities of different futures coming to transpire.
If you’re going to be giving up on something then you should try to understand, to the best of your ability, what exactly it is that you’re giving up – present and future. If you’re thinking that this sounds too complicated, then consider the fact that nothing in life is simple.
3. There is always the possibility of never finding anyone better.
Now this may seem harsh, but it is a very possible reality. You may ‘upgrade’ to a better mate, financially and physically — but that is all shallow talk. There are just some people out there that just may be truly irreplaceable, despite how you may feel about them right this very moment. It’s the little things. Remember that.
Human beings always judge their experiences by comparison. We judge how much we value something we have or are experiencing in the moment with previous versions of a similar nature. When we are considering giving up on the best person we’ve ever been with, it’s easy to imagine that person being the top. We don’t know if there is better. We often assume there is. We always hope there is.
But the reality is — there isn’t always. There are just too many people in the world, too many souls. Even if there were always someone better out there for, always — the probability of you finding that person, meeting them, dating them and hitting it off would be astronomical, especially that happening time and time again. Then, where is the ceiling?
The person you are giving up on may be a necessary step in your journey, but that person may also be the best you will ever have!
