Parenting comes with its challenges, and while trying to raise kids with healthy minds, it’s easy to slip up. The words we use around children are incredibly influential. Kids absorb and internalize information more than we realize, and certain phrases, though often said in the heat of the moment, can cause lasting emotional damage. Here are five common phrases that parents should steer clear of to avoid harming their child’s mental development.

1. “Stop being so dramatic”

It’s tempting to dismiss a child’s big feelings as mere overreaction, especially when they’re crying about something that might seem small to us. However, telling a child they’re “too dramatic” or “over the top” invalidates their emotions. Children are naturally expressive, and when they’re upset, they’re processing something important to them. According to experts, this is how they start learning to express themselves and develop emotional intelligence.

Instead of shutting down their feelings, try to validate them. Something as simple as, “I can see you’re really upset right now, and that’s okay,” teaches kids that their feelings matter and they don’t have to hide or bottle them up. This makes them more emotionally resilient and able to communicate effectively as they grow older.

2. “You’ll get over it”

This one might sound like a simple reassurance, but it actually dismisses the very real struggles children go through. Telling them to just “get over it” when something happens that makes them sad, frustrated, or scared sends the message that their feelings aren’t worth exploring. Every challenge they face—whether it’s a small fight with a friend or something bigger like disappointment in themselves—needs to be acknowledged.

Instead, offer empathy and a helping hand. Instead of rushing them to move past it, say, “I know this is tough, but we’ll figure it out together.” This reinforces their sense of safety and builds their problem-solving skills.

3. “Because I said so”

Let’s be real—this is a quick way to shut down a conversation, but it’s also a serious power play. Children need to understand why things happen, and just saying “because I said so” robs them of an opportunity to learn the reasoning behind actions or rules. This could create confusion and frustration in the long term, especially as they grow older and start questioning authority. A fun fact for perspective: Did you know that the phrase “because I said so” has its roots in ancient times? It was used as a form of authoritative control, particularly in military settings. But as times change, we know better—parents are becoming more aware that emotional connection and understanding go further than rigid commands.

To foster a sense of independence and understanding, try explaining the reasoning behind your decisions. For instance, instead of saying, “Because I said so,” try saying, “I need you to clean your room because it’s important to keep your space neat and tidy.” Even if they don’t fully agree, they’ll start to grasp that there are valid reasons for the rules they need to follow.

4. “Shut up”

Sometimes kids can be noisy, persistent, and a bit overwhelming, especially when they’re excited or upset. But snapping at them with “shut up” shuts down their ability to express themselves and may even make them feel like a nuisance. This kind of phrase not only stifles communication, but it also chips away at their confidence and trust in you as a safe person to talk to.

Instead, try to pause, take a deep breath, and approach the situation calmly. It could help to say, “I need a little quiet right now, can we talk in a minute?” This shows your child that it’s okay to ask for space, but that their voice still matters.

5. “You’re not good enough”

It’s easy to say things like “you’re not good enough” when kids are struggling or not meeting expectations. But this kind of statement can be incredibly damaging to a child’s self-esteem. No one likes to feel inadequate, and telling a child they’re “not good enough” sends the message that they don’t measure up. It can even shape their sense of self-worth in a negative way.

Instead, try to focus on effort rather than labeling. Encourage them with something like, “You may not have gotten it this time, but I’m proud of how hard you worked. Let’s keep trying, and you’ll improve!” This encourages resilience, promotes a growth mindset, and builds their confidence to keep pushing through challenges.

By replacing these harmful phrases with more supportive language, you’re setting your child up for success in life. They’ll grow up knowing their feelings are valid, their voices matter, and that they’re capable of navigating the world with confidence. Parenting isn’t about being perfect—it’s about being intentional. Let’s choose our words wisely.

It’s time to rethink the way we grow, produce, and eat food. Let’s make the shift today so that future generations can enjoy a healthier, happier planet.