“It’s not how hard you fall down, it’s about getting back up and fighting”
Most of us can remember the way our parents raised us and we feel that’s the right way. However, it may not have been the ‘right’ way, or a good way even. We, as parents can fall into either cycle for obvious reasons.
The opposite can also happen, we were raised a certain way and we say to ourselves “No way will I raise my child the way I was”. Try and avoid these 7 behaviors and raise successful children.
1. LET THEM TRY NEW THINGS
One parenting behavior that can hold children back from being successful is discouraging them from trying a new skill.
Parents have the best intentions, but if your child wants to try something new let them. Weather they succeed or not in that adventure it’s a win win because if they fail they will learn from this and bounce back stronger in ways they never would if they never tried. Failure is a part of life and how we deal with failure is the true test. Try encouraging them no matter how silly it may seem.
2. HELICOPTER PARENTING
You’ve probably heard the phrase “Helicopter Parent” by now. It was coined by the authors of the popular book, Parenting with Love and Logic. A helicopter parent is one who hovers over their child’s every move in an effort to protect them from pain, disappointment, and failure in the process of achieving success. This type of parent is especially prevalent in western culture because we are so preoccupied with building our children’s self esteem. An example of over-coddling would be doing laundry children when they are teenagers (or even young adults).
3. SAYING ” GOOD JOB”
Praising a child for every little thing they do hinders them from tackling a bigger task. Children yearn for a vocal praise, but hold back on the simple everyday automatic tasks. For example, praising your 9 year old for putting their shoes on by themselves may be a little over the top. Focusing your small “Good Job Moments” for educational performances is the exception to the rule.
4. PICK THEIR FRIENDS
A strong social network is important for adults and children. As a parent you want to pay attention who your child is hanging out with. It will be very hard to tell your child he/she can’t go on a sleep over. If you have that gut feeling you should go with it. Dr. Cara Natterson did an article on this topic. “Should you pick your childs friends?”
5. SUPER STRICT PARENT
Research by the University College London found that harsh parenting behavior had effects on the level of self-control for children and that these effects lasted and were also correlated with conduct problems later in life. The researchers say that ‘Harsh parenting predicted conduct problems for both boys and girls. Self-control at age 9 predicted conduct problems and emotional difficulties at age 12.’
Lower self-control levels were the result of strictly overseeing children’s behavior and being overly restrictive in the boundaries given to children. Allowing children, especially as they learn to manage their behavior within the reasonable boundaries that they have already mastered, to experience greater and greater freedom is essential to children being successful.
6. THE IMPORTANCE OF EMOTIONS
Emotions serve important functions and are very necessary, even though they can be really painful at times. Think of your emotions as another sense, just like your vision, hearing, touch, taste, and smell, because they provide information just like any of those other senses. Here are some of the roles your emotions play: Motivation, Information, Communications.
It’s important to have a healthy relationship with your children and have honest talk with them about life experiences and how they make you feel.
7. DON’T SEND MIXED MESSAGES
As parents we are the role models and nobody likes to be a hypocrite. Practice what you preach and follow through with your words. If you say your going to do something, try hard to accomplish those tasks. Your children are watching your every move and they will copy your actions.
Video via: Brightside
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