Blame it on the Alcohol: The Dumbest Crimes Ever Committed Drunk

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Alcohol and crime don’t really make the best match. A lot of times, alcohol makes people careless, reckless, and violent. In some instances, it makes us do some bizarre things.

Some people had to find out the hard way you probably shouldn’t commit a crime. Especially while under the influence of alcohol. Here are a few examples of the dumbest crimes ever committed when drunk.

Drunk Riding

Compared to stealing a car on the street, stealing a horse is much easier. Just get on and ride away. No tracker involved, no car alarm, no locks. Tracy Ellenburg had the same thoughts when she got the chance to make away with a horse in South California.

When answering to the police, she claimed the horse was drunk. She, however, deserves some applause for saying no to driving under the influence.

I’m a Werewolf


Thomas Stroup hit the bottle a little too hard at the Timber Ridge in Northern Ohio. A fellow reveler had had too much of Thomas’ drunk and disorderly antics when he called the cops on him after he kicked a dog cage out of fury. Thomas had been starting fights at every opportunity he got.

Police later found a passed-out Thomas in his trailer, surrounded by knives and sharp objects. When they woke him up, he talked to them in a Russian accent, threatening to kill their relatives.

In an attempt to save himself, Thomas claimed that a wolf scratched him while on a recent trip to Germany. As a result, he felt an urge to attack individuals especially ones named Keith whenever the moon was out.

Care for a Beer Officer?

In Georgia, video footage from the body cam of a police officer showed a man trying to bribe an officer with beer at a traffic stop. Lazaro Hernandez had earlier tried to bribe the officer with all the money he had in his wallet. His main aim was to get the officer to bring down the charge to super speeding.

Honorably, the officer refused these bribe advances and went on to charge Hernandez with driving under the influence, reckless driving, bribery, and failure to obey instructions from a police officer directing traffic.



A Florida man was charged with a misdemeanor criminal offense for calling 911 after his vodka ran out. When officers were dispatched to his home, they found no signs of a disturbance.

The police department established that he called 911 after his girlfriend refused to buy him vodka after he finished his stock. He was also intoxicated during when he made the call. The police charged him for misusing emergency 911 services.

Hockey Celebration

This has to be one of the dumbest crimes ever committed while drunk. During a hockey game, a team supporter broke into a store, dressed in full hockey goalie attire. The criminal grabbed a few beers from the fridge and took off, ignoring the cash register entirely. The crime happened, unsurprisingly, in Canada.

Safe drinking would have been beneficial to most of these guys. Alcohol leads to poor decision making and even worse crisis management skills.

Don’t Drink and Commit Crime


Don’t even commit a crime when sober. It never ends well. Alcohol doesn’t go well with a lot of things. Driving, operating machinery, crime. Think about it before you go too far down your next bottle.

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