How ‘To And How ‘Not To’ Approach Someone You Are ‘Crushing’ On!

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The dating scene can be tough…but if you have confidence…it can be an incredibly easy scene to dominate!

Over the years I have encountered friends who would talk about a girl that they were ‘crushing’ on, but would never approach. It was quite annoying actually, because I would always tell them to simply ask her out…or at the least…get her phone number. But nope…their lack of confidence took over and they lost the girl to a more confident dude. 

Sure there are plenty of fish in the sea…but if you are too scared to swim with the fish…you will sink and get crabs…I mean become a crab. 

So…here are some ways to and ‘not to’ engage in conversation with someone you have your eye on. Remember…every time you wuss out…you could potentially be bypassing your future mate!

1. The ‘Cheesy Line’ Opening – How To!

Muster up the courage to walk over to the ‘love suspect’ and simply ask for the phone number. Throwing out a cheesy ice breaker line first works great…something like…’Something seems missing here.’ and when they reply…’what’…you say…’your phone number is missing from my contact list!‘. Boom! Your’e in! Ice is freaking broken!

Now…the best bet would be to make fun of yourself and acknowledge how cheesy that line truly was. This will further break the ice, you two will hopefully share a laugh and then you can say in all seriousness…’Can I get your number…I’d love to take you out sometime or get together.’. That’s it! If the ‘love suspect’ says no…just move on!

2. The Social Media Tactic – How To!

Whether you know the person you are ‘crushing’ on or not…this tactic works well either way…because just about everyone has a Facebook account!

While you are engaging in conversation with the ‘love suspect’, pull out your phone and pretend to check your Facebook, Twitter or whatever. As you are looking at your phone, make a comment about something funny you saw on Facebook. This will open up a quick conversation about Facebook, where you will be able to say something to the effect of ‘Why are we not Facebook friends?’. Typically, the ‘love suspect’ will say that they don’t know why…and you say ‘Well I need your virtual friendship in my life…I’m sending you a request right now!’. Boom…your’e in. If the ‘love suspect’ seems creeped out…just laugh it off and move on!

If the ‘love suspect’ is down with the request idea…wait at least 15.5 hours to send your first message to them. You don’t want to seem to eager.

3. The ‘Shy Guy or Gal’ – How Not To!

Don’t be this person. Shyness leads to awkwardness and awkwardness leads to many nights home alone.

When you approach someone and get ready to ask them for their number, or out on date…you MUST radiate confidence! I can tell you with the utmost certainly that woman do not care for a man who lacks self confidence. Men…they kind of dig the shy girl…but if that ‘cute’ shyness doesn’t ware off quickly…it can turn into quite the bore.

So…long story short. If you are a naturally shy person…try to muster up the courage and confidence prior to making your move. If you are a confident guy or gal…disregard this.

4. Having A Friend Do Your Dirty Work. – How Not To!

Under no circumstances is this an acceptable, cool way to get someones digits or attention. I have actually seen this backfire in real life!

If you have to send a friend over to engage in conversation with your ‘love suspect’, you will find yourself in the midst of a seriously, sketchy situation.

Number one…you look like a little baby to the ‘love suspect’. Number two, you are running the risk of the person you sent over to talk to the ‘love suspect’…getting their number for themselves! Yikes! That’s not cool!

So, it’s best to do the dirty work yourself.

5. Ask Questions – How To!

Engage, be awesome and ask questions! Everybody loves to talk about themselves, so let them!

As you are talking with the ‘love suspect’, ask them questions about their life, their family, their friends and their life in general. This shows that you are truly interested in them…not just there to get a phone number for a future booty call. If you are there to get a phone number for a future booty call…see No. 6.

6. Be Blunt – How To!

Come right out and say what you want. If you are engaged in a conversation with the ‘love suspect’ and you are only looking for a little booty call…say that. Put it out there. It is respectful and can save people a lot of time if they are simply honest upfront. If you have no intentions of dating someone, but want to make some sweet love with them…just say it. This line usually works well, ‘Listen, I was thinking that you and I should get together someone, have a few drinks…chat a bit and make a little sweet love.’. 

Now I know you are laughing at this or probably disregarding it as nonsense…but until you try it out and say the truth with confidence…you can’t judge! It does work!

Remember…honestly is the BEST policy!

7. Don’t Talk About An Ex – How Not To!

Sweet baby J…do not every talk about ex while you are trying to get to know someone. This is a huge turn off and only makes you seem like you are still attached.

If you slip up and start talking about an ex, or if they start talking about their ex…simply stop the conversation and either say, ‘What am I talking about…that is old news…I want to hear about you’….or….’That really stinks about your ex…but everything happens for a reason…so tell me about you’. Boom! Exes be gone…again!

8. Talking Sexual

This is up in the air…you really have to feel out the situation prior to dropping any sexual funnies or innuendos. It is a risky line to cross…and it can go very well or very badly in a hurry.

Make sure the ‘love suspect’ is down with sexual play prior to throwing it out there!


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