Know Your Partner’s ‘Love Language’ And Learn To Speak It Fluently

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The closer people grow together in a relationship, the more intuitive the understanding between them. While the obvious way of defining this intimacy would be that a couple have fallen in love, their ability to communicate their feelings and second-guess their partner is so much more nuanced than that. Whether you met on a dating website or in any other social setting, once the chemistry between you reaches a certain level, what you have could be described as you having figured out one another’s ‘love language.’ Here’s how you would figure this out; and more importantly, learn how to be a fluent speaker.

Sharing experiences

Just as any spoken language has words or phrases that strike a common chord, so your love language will blossom when you uncover areas you both agree on, or activities you love shareing. This will lead to quality time. Sometimes it’s difficult to find those moments in our increasingly hectic lifestyles. But when you do decide to put everything else on hold and simply enjoy each other’s company, you will be reaffirming something very special. You will also be creating memories to be cherished. The more quality time you spend together, the greater this sense of understanding each other’s desires and needs will become.


It goes without saying you should honor a partner’s birthday, or remember them at particular times of the year when it’s traditional for presents to be given. But offering and receiving these is another tremendous example of the unspoken language that enhances the feelings within a relationship. There is nothing quite like a spontaneous gift, especially if time has been taken to carefully wrap it. The act of handing this over, then observing as your partner gleefully opens it, will bring a deep sense of anticipation and warmth. If the present has been chosen with particular care, such as something inspired by an off-handed comment, this will give added poignancy as you have given a clear indication you are being attentive. It can be all too easy to become self-absorbed and focus on your own issues at the expense of only paying a modicum of attention when your partner is sounding-off about something.

Even if the original intention was for this meaningful gift to be a unilateral declaration of love, there would be no harm in the action inspiring a reciprocal gesture. That this might lead to a protracted period of impromptu presents going backwards and forwards would be no bad thing.


Another universally appreciated aspect of love language is the giving and acceptance of compliments. Never tire of letting your partner know the extent to which they are appreciated. This could be anything from expressing how much you like their new outfit, to offering a firm appreciation of a meal they’ve just cooked. Extra points are available if your notice much more subtler details, such as a new item of jewellery, or the fact they’ve spent the afternoon in a hair salon. You’ll become a fluent speaker once your attention span stretches to activities outwith your usual scope. Say your partner is recognized for something at work. You’ll be demonstrating you’re on the same empathetic wavelength if you can offer praise for whatever has happened in their office, even if the intricate details are something you don’t usually concern yourself with.


For all the verbal examples, the finest examples of you being fluent in your partner’s love language is by non-verbal communication. Kiss. Hold hands. Even just smile or wink. These are how you continually underscore your feelings.