23 Small Yet Funny Lies Parents Tell Their Kids

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As parents we get overwhelmed sometimes and when we become overwhelmed, we sometimes have to tell little white lies to our kids in order to get a little peace in our lives. Or, sometimes we just flat out lie to our kids. It happens to the best of us and as our kids get older, they certainly wonder what the hell we were talking about when we told them these lies.

1. I told my daughter that when she lied a small red dot would appear on her forehead. I knew this worked because when she would say certain things that were clearly not true, her hand would immediately go and cover her forehead. 

2. “They don’t sell replacement batteries for that toy”

3. “The TV only works when it is raining outside”

4. “The animals on the side of the road are just napping because the road is warm”

5. “Pulp Fiction is a documentary about oranges”

throne lies

6. “This isn’t fish, it is Argentinian chicken”

7. “There is a tube connecting your belly button to your butt, if you unscrew your belly button, your butt will fall off.”

8. “If you eat enough vegetable your body will start making them taste like candy.”

9. “If you do not learn how to read, your voice will disappear.”

10. “Rumble strips on the side of the highway are for blind drivers, as are the signs with holes in them.”


11. “The internet is turned off at six p.m. every night.”

12. “You must behave in school because there is a special TV channel where I can watch you at school all day long.”

13. “If you keep the turn signal on the car on too long the car will flip over.” – This will cause anxiety in children 🙂

14. While at a store – “Every time you touch sometime a kitten dies.”

15. “Soda is nothing more than black water, you wouldn’t like it.”


16. “Oil stains in the street are where kids got run over because they didn’t look both ways and hold an adults hand when crossing.”

17. “Every time you lie, baby Jesus get diarrhea.”

18. “We can’t have the dome lights on in the car because it will blind other drivers.”

19. “Drag racing is when two men dressed as women run down the street racing one another.”

20. “Burger King is only for royalty.”

21. “The Tooth Fairy couldn’t leave money under your pillow because she was in another country last night, but she will be back in our country tonight.”

22. “Babies are made when two people love each other.” – end of conversation

23. “The fish is just taking a long nap, if we flush the fishy down the toilet, it will be able to swim with its friends again.”

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