These Renaissance Artists Clearly Did Not Know How To Paint Babies

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We all think of babies as cute, squishy, awesome little humans.  It is quite evident that through the renaissance period, artist did not feel this way.

What did they think babies looked like?

I’m convinced this is not a baby, just a small man still trying to lose his baby fat.

Was it the artist’s intention to make Mary look like she’s been dead for 3 days?

“Do you even lift bro?” –Meathead baby Jesus

I like to think this mother-son pair just finished eating pizza and not people.

So this is what Christ would look like if he were a shaved orangutan.

This handsome, well cut Jesus plays a bold game

Alien babies need nourishment, too, I guess.

Part man, part licorice.

…that’s a baby? Really?

I really hope he’s giving that swan the heimlich.

This poor baby has wings for hands and a fist for a face.

Never work with animals and children, and especially both.

There’s no way this baby is not going to eat that bird.

Just a reminder: this is considered high art and yet the the Oscars don’t have a comedy category.

Oh you never read the baby books that said they look to lie on the hard floor with you on top of them?

What’s she going to pull out next? A bunny?

Maybe hand off the Lord Savior to Joseph, huh Mary? You look high.

I don’t think this is how skin works.

Was the stable he was born in near a nuclear power plant?

Was this just a “got your nose” game gone wrong? How’d we get to this point?

(via Tumblr/Ugly Renaissance Babies)

I’m not saying I can draw a baby any better than most people, but I’m pretty sure I can draw a baby that doesn’t look like it turns into a gremlin if you feed it after midnight.