{"id":1075,"date":"2015-01-28T00:56:49","date_gmt":"2015-01-28T00:56:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/awesomejelly.com\/?p=1075"},"modified":"2015-01-28T00:56:49","modified_gmt":"2015-01-28T00:56:49","slug":"ever-wonder-day-life-girl-extreme-pms-looks-like","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/awesomejelly.com\/ever-wonder-day-life-girl-extreme-pms-looks-like\/","title":{"rendered":"Ever Wonder What A Day In The Life Of A Girl With Extreme PMS Looks Like?"},"content":{"rendered":"

This article brought to you by : Emma Golden at\u00a0elitedaily<\/a><\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

PMS is a bitch and can turn even the least bitchy girl you know into a bitch. It\u2019s not a cop out, it\u2019s science. I mean, how else do you expect us to feel when we shed blood from our very wombs for a solid week of every month?<\/p>\n

Not to mention, having to deal with the rampant rollercoaster of emotions we\u2019re put through the week prior to the actual event.<\/p>\n

When you break it down, the majority of women have about two really solid weeks a month with minor emotional or physical interruptions. The other two weeks are a crapshoot.<\/p>\n

Sucks, right?<\/p>\n

Some of the (very few) upsides to our natural, God-given dilemma are as follows: 1) At least we know everything\u2019s, er, working(?), and 2) it\u2019s always a plus when you \u201csync up\u201d with a close girlfriend and get to bleed at the same time because at least you\u2019re not alone in your misery.<\/p>\n

Other than those two things, it\u2019s a tough sell when it comes to highlighting positive elements about a period.<\/p>\n

To give fellow PMSing lady friends and victims of those PMSing lady friends something to laugh about, we\u2019ll now take a\u00a0tour through the mind of a PMSing girl. This is a day-in-the-life situation, if you will.<\/p>\n

7:30 am:<\/strong> I do not<\/em> feel like getting up today. I hate work. I hate driving to work. I hate that I\u2019m literally wasting my best years sitting in one spot, all day long. I hate everything. What\u2019s the point?<\/p>\n

7:31 am:<\/strong> OMG\u2026 am I depressed? Is this what clinical depression feels like? It does<\/em> hurt everywhere. My boobs, my back, my \u2013 oh wait. PMS.<\/p>\n

7:32 am:<\/strong> Thank the lord I have something to blame this near-crippling and completely uncharacteristic anxiety on!<\/p>\n

7:45 am:<\/strong> Aw! I love<\/em> random pimples! Especially<\/em> in the middle of my forehead, just low enough to be uncoverable by a hat or hair accessory. Now the whole world will know what\u2019s brewin\u2019 neath the surface.<\/p>\n

8 am:<\/strong> No amount of makeup could make me\u00a0not<\/em>\u00a0look like a vampire or albino child. I\u2019m not even bleeding yet. How can I possibly bethis\u00a0<\/em>washed out? I think I just used 1\/4 of my entire blush stick.<\/p>\n

8:05 am:<\/strong> Cool, I\u2019m too fat for every piece of clothing I own and want to burn down my entire closet.<\/p>\n

8:06 am:<\/strong> Maybe if I just layer my largest dress with my largest sweater\u2026<\/p>\n

8:08 am:<\/strong> Perfect. \u201cPale, homeless, acne-ridden she-man.\u201d Exactly what I was going for.<\/p>\n

8:15 am:<\/strong> All I want right now is an Egg McMuffin. Literally, if I don\u2019t get one, I won\u2019t stop thinking about it all day.\u00a0This is a dilemma. No, I\u2019ve got to stick to oatmeal.<\/p>\n

8:20 am:<\/strong> Hi, yeah. One Egg McMuffin, please? And, could you throw some dignity in that bag? Oh, what\u2019s that? You don\u2019t have any because this is a McDonald\u2019s? That\u2019s fine. I can do without.<\/p>\n

8:21 am:<\/strong> OMGTHISISTHEBESTTHINGIVEEVERPUTINMYMOUTH<\/p>\n

8:25 am:<\/strong> I hate myself for what just happened.<\/p>\n

8:27 am:<\/strong> No, ya know what? I deserved <\/em>that. I\u2019ll just have a salad for lunch, NBD. Checks and balances, amirite?<\/p>\n

8:45 am:<\/strong> Why haven\u2019t I heard from my boyfriend yet this morning? He never texts me \u201cgood morning.\u201d \u00a0He\u2019s not romantic. He doesn\u2019t love me. He doesn\u2019t even like <\/em>me. OMG, we\u2019re falling apart. We have to break up before it gets worse. I\u2019ll never find anyone else. How do I start over?<\/p>\n

8:48 am:<\/strong> Aw! There he is. OMG, he\u2019s so sweet and caring and thoughtful. I love him.<\/p>\n

9:30 am:<\/strong> And, I\u2019m ravenous again. How is this possible?<\/p>\n

9:35 am:<\/strong> Sure, I\u2019ll have a donut since you were kind enough to bring them in. Wouldn\u2019t want to be rude.<\/p>\n

9:36 am:<\/strong> OMGTHISISTHEBESTHINGIVEEVERPUTINMYMOUTH<\/p>\n

9:37 am:<\/strong> One more couldn\u2019t hurt, right? Damage is already done! Haha!<\/p>\n

9:38 am:<\/strong> Andddddd, once again, I hate myself. Why. WHY do coworkers insist on feeding the PMS beast within?! Shouldn\u2019t they have some sort of awareness of my cycles by now? I\u2019ve been working here long enough.<\/p>\n

10:01 am:<\/strong> Honestly, I think I\u2019ve gained 10 pounds since this morning. I\u2019m eating just lettuce with lemon juice for lunch.<\/p>\n

10:58 am:<\/strong> I love my dog so much. What am I gonna do when she dies?<\/p>\n

11:01 \u2013 11:15am:<\/strong> (In the bathroom, having an uncontrollable, strangely involuntarily crying episode.)<\/p>\n

11:20 am:<\/strong> LOLOLOL @ my best friends on Gchat. I can\u2019t believe I was just heavily sobbing mere minutes ago! There\u2019s nothing to be upset about. I\u2019m insane.<\/p>\n

11:32 am:<\/strong> Sometimes it just feels like everyone on Instagram hates me.<\/p>\n

11:35 am:<\/strong> But whatever! I post what I want and if you don\u2019t like it, then unfollow me!<\/p>\n

11:36 am:<\/strong> JK, please don\u2019t unfollow me. I need you to like this ultra-filtered selfie I just took of my washed out, homeless face so I can then rediscover my self-worth via social media and heavy, saturated colors.<\/p>\n

12:00 pm:<\/strong> Time for my lettuce with lemon juice.<\/p>\n

12:05 pm:<\/strong> YES! I\u2019LL COME TO LUNCH WITH YOU. I HAD NO PLANS.<\/p>\n

12:31 pm:<\/strong> Why is food so f*cking good? I don\u2019t know if it\u2019s PMS or what (it\u2019s PMS), but I think I could honestly die stuffed on pizza and Chipotle and queso and I wouldn\u2019t regret a damn thing.<\/p>\n

12:45 pm:<\/strong> I\u2019m a hoss. I\u2019m a fat hoss and no one will ever love me.<\/p>\n

1:07 pm:<\/strong> I kinda like when my boobs get all swollen like this the week before. I feel so\u2026 womanly.<\/p>\n

1:10 pm:<\/strong> My tits are huge and make me feel enormous.<\/p>\n

2:46 pm:<\/strong> I feel like picking a text fight with my boyfriend. He hasn\u2019t even checked in on me today or asked if I want to hang out this week.<\/p>\n

2:48 pm:<\/strong> NO, NO. I don\u2019t care <\/em>if you \u201cThought it was implied at this point.\u201d I NEED ROMANCE. I NEED COURTSHIP.<\/p>\n

2:52 pm:<\/strong> Yes, I\u2019m serious. I\u2019m so serious, as serious as Amanda Bynes\u2019s mental breakdown. That<\/em> serious.<\/p>\n

2:53 \u2013 3:15 pm:<\/strong> (Radio silence to make him sweat.)<\/p>\n

3:16 pm:<\/strong> I\u2019m sorry. It\u2019s just that, I miss you. You make me so happy and I\u2019m feeling down this week.<\/p>\n

3:18 pm:<\/strong> No, it\u2019s my fault. Ugh, I\u2019m so sensitive lately. I\u2019m so sorry, babe. I feel so weak and stupid.<\/p>\n

3:19 pm \u2013 3:30 pm:<\/strong> (In the bathroom, having an uncontrollable, strangely involuntarily crying episode.)<\/p>\n

4:12 pm:<\/strong> All I want to do is go home, put on the biggest clothing I own, drink an entire bottle of wine and cry. God, I\u2019m pathetically stereotypical.<\/p>\n

4:15 pm:<\/strong> No. I\u2019m gonna go to the gym. I\u2019m going to battle my own PMS demons and say F*CK YOU and go sweat it out. I don\u2019t have<\/em> to succumb to the beast within. I\u2019ve got the power!<\/p>\n

4:16 pm \u2013 5:05 pm:<\/strong> (Simultaneously looks up \u201ctotal body fitness\u201d workout moves and every Pinterest recipe involving pasta, ever.)<\/p>\n

5:30 \u2013 6 pm:<\/strong> I hate traffic. I hate it so much. This is awful. I\u2019m literally never getting home. Or to the gym. This sucks. I\u2019m just going to give up, right here. Just stop my car in the middle of this debacle and sit and fester until I\u2019m found and fed and told I\u2019m pretty.<\/p>\n

6:01 pm:<\/strong> AND WHY HAVEN\u2019T I HEARD FROM MY BOYFRIEND?<\/p>\n

6:02 pm:<\/strong> I just want my dog. The gym doesn\u2019t have my dog. Screw the gym. I can be fat for one more day.<\/p>\n

6:30 pm \u2013 10 pm:<\/strong> I deserved this wine. Isn\u2019t one glass a day good for you, anyway? So, like, four glasses a day has to be amazing <\/em>for you! God, what if I amount to nothing in my life? Look at me. Look how easily my own reproductive system victimizes me. I\u2019ve allowed my hormones to dwindle me down to this pathetic, sweatpants-wearing, wine binge-drinking, pizza-ordering, overly emotional mess.<\/em><\/p>\n

Why are the Gilmore girls so wonderful? I want to live in Stars Hollow; Lorelai and Rory would make everything okay. They always do. I hope my boyfriend still likes me. But, if he does, why<\/em>? I\u2019m insane.<\/p>\n

But I\u2019m also awesome. I mean, when I\u2019m not being insane. Which I only am for one week a month. It\u2019s like that Marilyn Monroe quote, you know, the one about having me at my worst? Or accepting me at my best? Or something. I don\u2019t know. I\u2019m f*cking starving again.<\/p>\n

10:05 pm:<\/strong> Hi, boyfriend. I know we don\u2019t normally spend weeknights together because life is terrible and work is hell, but I really need you to come over and hold me tonight. Please?<\/p>\n

10:06 pm:<\/strong> (Serious threat of uncontrollable crying fit diffused.)<\/p>\n

10:15 pm:<\/strong> Yaaaay, boyfriend!<\/p>\n

10:20 pm:<\/strong> Sorry, I\u2019m just not in the mood at all. I feel disgusting. Please stop trying, it\u2019s not going to happen, okay?<\/p>\n

10:30 pm:<\/strong> Hey. Are you still awake? I\u2019m in the mood now.<\/p>\n

10:45 pm:<\/strong> Goodnight, world. See you tomorrow.<\/p>\n

10:45 pm \u2013 11:00 pm:<\/strong>\u00a0(tossing and turning)<\/p>\n

11:01 pm:<\/strong> F*CK, I\u2019M HUNGRY.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This article brought to you by : Emma Golden at\u00a0elitedaily PMS is a bitch and can turn even the least bitchy girl you know into a bitch. It\u2019s not a cop out, it\u2019s science. I mean, how else do you expect us to feel when we shed blood from our very wombs for a solid week of every month? Not to mention, having to deal with the rampant rollercoaster of emotions we\u2019re put through the week prior to the actual event. When you break it down, the majority of women have about two really solid weeks a month with minor <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1076,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"wprm-recipe-roundup-name":"","wprm-recipe-roundup-description":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1,29],"tags":[500,499],"yst_prominent_words":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/awesomejelly.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1075"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/awesomejelly.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/awesomejelly.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/awesomejelly.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/awesomejelly.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1075"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/awesomejelly.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1075\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1077,"href":"https:\/\/awesomejelly.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1075\/revisions\/1077"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/awesomejelly.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1076"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/awesomejelly.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1075"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/awesomejelly.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1075"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/awesomejelly.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1075"},{"taxonomy":"yst_prominent_words","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/awesomejelly.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/yst_prominent_words?post=1075"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}