How do you know if someone likes you more than just a friend?
Sometimes the strongest of relationships can blossom out of innocent friendships. On the other hand, many people often find themselves in the uncomfortable position of being in the “friendzone,” struggling or unable to express their true feelings for someone who thinks of them as merely a friend. Here are 24 telltale signs that someone might have more than strictly platonic feelings for one of their friends.
1. They tell you that they want something more.
This is the most obvious of the signs. When someone comes right out and admits their true feelings to the person who is their friend, it cannot be interpreted any other way than as as an act of affection that goes beyond normal behavior between friends. A friend who tells the other that they want their friendship to progress into a deeper relationship undoubtedly holds that person in very high esteem. When someone begins to view a friend in a more intimate light, they start to allow that person to have a greater influence on their life, and as this influence grows stronger, so does the need to communicate their wish for that person to play a greater role in their everyday life.
2. They hint at you to make a move
Sometimes a friend is too shy to come right out and admit their true feelings for their friends. Sometimes they will wait for their friend to make the first move. Sometimes, after waiting a certain amount of time without success for their friend to make a move, they begin to grow impatient. At this point they will start to make subtle hints to their friend about the two of them together, and this is a clear sign that someone might have deep feelings for their friend.
3. They don’t refer to you as a friend
Often times the way a person feels about someone is revealed through the way they talk about them in everyday speech. If someone is speaking about their friend, and they don’t refer to them as a friend, it usually means that in their minds that person has a higher status than just a friend. They might instead refer to that person by name only, or as a “close friend,” instead of just a friend. It is easy to spot the signs of how someone really feels about their friend by observing the manner in which they speak about them candidly.
4. They touch you in certain places
When people who care about each other are in each other’s company, they often get an uncontrollable, nagging desire to share physical contact with one another. A friend who struggles with intense feelings for another friend will be looking for any excuse to touch them. Physical touching might not necessarily indicate stronger feelings than friendship, as such behavior (to a certain degree) is normal in many functional friendships. It is rather the frequency and intimate nature of the physical contact which reveals their deep desires. Nudging with the elbow, rubbing the shoulder or attempting to hold the hand of a friend can all be signs that someone feels strongly about that person.
5. They make excuse to be with you alone
One of the most frustrating things about having intimate feelings for a friend is the inability to spend time with them alone, as it is usually the case that friends spend time together in groups of more than just two. Someone who views a friend on more intimate levels will do anything for some one-on-one time with them. A clear sign of someone who wants a more romantic relationship with a friend is their complete disregard of all of their mutual friends when spending time in large groups, usually monopolizing all of their time.
6. Their eye contact with you is unusual
Eyes are like windows into the soul. Incredible amounts of emotion can be communicated non-verbally through eye contact alone. It is therefore exceedingly easy to ascertain a person’s true feelings for someone by the way they look at them. Unusual eye contact such as staring into a person’s eyes for an uncomfortably long period of time, or shifting their eyes anxiously away and being unable to maintain eye contact, are signs that someone might view a friend in a passionate way.
7. They ask you out
If a friend is constantly asking another friend out on dates this is another hallmark of someone feeling more than just friendly thoughts towards a person. Sometimes it is completely normal for one friend to ask another to accompany them to a music event or a movie. How to tell if this is due to intimate feelings is whether or not the request is presented in a casual manner, and whether or not the requests happen too frequently.
8. They ask you about your relationship past
Curiosity about a friend’s past relationships is a clear sign of a hope for romance, because it means that person is beginning to imagine what it would be like to be in a relationship with their friend. Getting information about their friend’s history of partners enables them to envision that person as a romantic partner, adding to their fantasy and pushing out the old mental image of that person as a friend. Inquiries about a friend’s relationship past is a clear sign of intimate desires, otherwise they usually wouldn’t even care enough to ask about that sort of thing.
9. They ask about your future plans
When a person secretly wishes for a serious relationship with their friend, it is often one of their greatest worries that their friend will move on to someone else, and that they will miss their chance to be with them. That is why a person who wants to be with their friend is constantly wondering and asking about whether or not that person is thinking about pursuing a relationship with someone else. It may appear to be an innocent interest in their love life, but someone who keeps tabs on their friend’s future relationship plans is clearly interested in that person romantically, especially if they are asking when, or if they would ever like to get married or have kids.
10. They get angry when someone else tries to make a move
Jealousy is perhaps one of the most undeniable signs of deep desire for someone. When someone feels jealousy at the sight of one of their friends with someone else, it is because that person feels that they want to be with that person instead. They feel jealousy because it is as though they have failed their own hopes and dreams of being the one that their friend is romantically involved with, and they feel like they should be in that position. Unless someone really cares deeply for a person, seeing a friend with someone else does not cause jealousy or any other passionate emotions for that matter.
11. They get angry at the little things
Sometimes it can be very stressful for a person who secretly desires to be intimately involved with a friend. It can seem to them as if no one understands their struggle, and that their uncomfortable position of wanting to be with their friend is as unbearable as a living nightmare. It is often the case that these individuals seem to get angry at the smallest things, due to their being so wound up and troubled about their situation. Anger and frustration in the company of a friend are clear signs of passion, especially when in reaction to things concerning the relationship of the two friends.
12. They remember important dates
If a friend is such a huge part of someone’s life that they remember all of their birthdays and other special dates, this is a definite sign that they are passionate about them. It means that they are so obsessed with their friend that they are counting down the days until they can prove to their friend how much they care. The fact that a friend takes the initiative to make someone’s important dates an important part of their own lives shows that they really care.
13. Their body language says it
Along with eye contact, body language is one of the most common ways people communicate their emotions non-verbally. It is very easy to see whether a friend feels strongly for another by observing their body language when they are around that person. This can manifest in many ways, for example women will flick or toss their hair, or touch themselves unconsciously when they are in the presence of someone they are interested in, and men will try to take up as much space as possible in order to draw attention to themselves. All of these things are signs that a friend might be considering a deeper relationship with another.
14. They flirt with you
A friend that is interested in another romantically can often be observed flirting with that person. Sometimes the person’s personality is less outgoing, and so they are less inclined to flirt, but in other cases people are naturally flirty. Sometimes a person will want to flirt but will not go through with it out of fears of rejection, and other times a person might playfully flirt but not in a serious manner. If someone is flirting with one of their friends and is interested in pursuing them, it is because they are testing the waters so to speak, to see whether their affectionate behavior will be returned. This is a sure sign that a friend might be interested in having a relationship with another.
15. They talk about you a lot to their friends
When someone is on a person’s mind, everything reminds them of that special someone, and they constantly get the urge to talk about that person to their friends. Some of their friends might even get sick of constantly hearing about every little detail of that person’s life. They might even approach the person who is being talked about and say something like, “Did you know so-and-so is always going on and on about you?” A friend who cannot shut up about one of their friends is exhibiting the signs of affections which go beyond friendship alone.
16. They improve their physical appearance around you
When people really want to make a good impression on someone, they are constantly worrying about their appearance and they are fiddling with it constantly in their presence. It is the mark of someone who truly cares what the person they are interested in thinks about them. For men, such behavior is exemplified by the smoothening of their shirt or the fixing of their tie. It shows they want to impress their friend. This is a clear sign of a friend who wants a more meaningful relationship from another.
17. They hint or let you know that they are single
Letting a friend know that they are single is a clear sign that they are interested in a relationship with that person. There is no reason to reveal this information unless a relationship is desired. Sometimes it might be revealed in a casual manner, but most of the time it is because that person wants their friend to know they are available and ready for a new partner.
18. They stalk you
Sometimes people are driven by desire to do crazy things, and sometimes this can include following the person they are interested in, with our without their knowledge. They might show up at an event they know their friend is attending, only to play it cool and say, “Oh, fancy seeing you here!” Other times they might silently stalk the person, observing them from a distance. In any case, a friend who follows another around is clearly experiencing intense feelings for that person.
19. They make the move
When a friend starts to make moves on the other, it is a clear sign that they want more than a friendship. It is a sign of a person who has thrown all caution to the wind and no longer cares about what anyone thinks, they deeply want the person they are making moves on. This is perhaps one of the clearest signs of a friend who wants more than just a friendship, it means the person is directly initiating the process of taking the relationship to the next level.
21. They act masculine or girly around you
When a friend acts more feminine or masculine around another, depending on whether they are male or female, it is a sure sign of someone who wants that person to be their romantic partner. In usual situations, two friends don’t really see each other as male or female, they just see them as a person, whose personality is one that they can get along with. Guys will see female friends as “one of the bros,” and females have a similar approach. When a friend acts more feminine or masculine around another, it is a sign that they want that person to stop seeing them as a friend, and to start seeing them as a possible partner.
23. They expect a lot from you
A friend who has intimate feelings for another will feel extremely let down if that person ever acts in a way which implies a lack of regard for them. They might get extremely distraught if the friend they are interested in shows up late to meet them or forgets a promise they made. It is strange for friends in normal situations to become angry or let down because of these incidents, and they usually just forgive and forget. A person will expect a lot from a friend they have feelings for, because that person means so much to them and their impact on their lives has been blown out of normal proportions.
24. They try to make you jealous
One of the classic signs someone has romantic feelings towards a friend is if they try to make them feel jealous. What the person is trying to do is make their friend notice them first of all, and second of all to gauge their reaction to see whether or not their friend is bothered by seeing them with someone else. Although this is one of the more deceptive signs of underlying intimate thoughts towards a friend, and can often lead to emotional pain and confusion, it is one of the hallmarks of a friend who wants more than just a friendship from another.
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